By Eli Sigman

I woke up to bells tolling

At the church across the street

I woke up like any other morning

But G-d I wish it had been Any other morning

Because this morning

I am safe but not sound.

Not since I heard the sound at the gym

Of every phone going off and being silenced at once.

The sound of my phone going off time and time again

To see if I am alive.

Shooting at a synagogue

Not two miles from where I stand

Someone who hates My people,

Shot My people

And I donʼt know if my friends are safe

Facebook, Snapchat, text, call

Making sure my friends are alive.

The jewish people endure so much.

We face hardship and stay in touch

Because we are only a people together

I check in with everyone I know and cry

My thumb shaking uncontrollably across the tear-streaked screen

Reading messages from people I saw just last night

Telling me they are alive

Because now itʼs a question

My grandparents donʼt know how to use their phones

Canʼt text tweet or check Facebook,

But they call me for the first time this year

Because they want to know I am ok.

I went to the Squirrel Hill vigil and saw love surround

Hidden in the puffs of steam

Escaping mouths singing the misheberach.

We prayed together as a family

And they told us love must win over hate

But hate is so strong

Hate takes guns into our sacred temples

And steals the lives of those praying in peace.

Hate infects our peaceful places

Our safe spaces,

Our holy houses,

And kills our family.

Love must win but love cannot bring back the

Eleven killed by one hateful man

Love can hope

Love can hope we go out and vote

Or bring us back from tears

But love cannot fix what hate doles out

And hate will just keep doling.

And to think I woke up to the bells tolling

Like this had just been another morning